The word 'PAIN' can never sum up what it feels like to lose someone. There is no word in any language that can fully describe the loss of myself when my Tanya and Anjan passed on to the world beyond. Every moment that I take a step forward by making it through another day, no matter how good or bad I feel, I can't run fast enough or far enough to escape loss. This is because I can never leave behind the love inside my heart. It moves with me.....

I continue to find it difficult being part of my family during family occassions because I feel so empty and incomplete from within without Tanya. Although I am convinced that she is constantly with me in spirit yet, somehow, her physical absence is something I am not able to get used to. Maybe as time goes by I will be able to carry this constant feeling of heaviness with more grace.
Anjali and Bob make me so happy yet that persistant feeling of emptiness follows me everywhere. I am afraid to let my guard down as I just don't want Anjali to feel I love her any less and would never want her to feel unhappy.
I have always wanted to see both Anjali and Tanya happy, as their happiness was mine and it is for this reason that I let them go and follow their dreams...now I am so glad I did.