I know it feels like ages since I came by to pen my thoughts down, but, never for once did I forget this page where I so candidly expressed my inner most feelings! I continue to carry within me the same intensity of pain & anguish that I did then, for, within me lies the true essence of my life & of who I am. I try so hard to move on but it's like a slip & slide situation for me... I try to live my life by fooling not only myself but the world that I am OK but, deep in my heart I know I am not and every day it's a struggle. 
I miss my child, my soul mate, my life...Tanya...I know she would not want to see me unhappy, she always wanted me to be happy & to live my life on my own terms, just as she did,,,she was free spirited ... just like her name ... TANYA ... I miss her  so and there is not much that I can do about it ... I know she is in a better place with her father, How i wish I too could be there with them ... I feel so incomplete without them ... 
WHY? I will always ask ... WHY? Were the gods jealous of Anjan loving me so much & me loving Tanya so much ...???? Do I sound like a stuck record? So what???