Am I feeling better? I really don't know! I don't think I ever will! Some days are so overwhelmingly riddled with grief because the need to hold my child to my boosom and stroke her hair and iron out all her worries and pain is so strong that containing my emotions becomes an impossible task for me.

I always wanted to see Tanu happy and safe, I wonder how much more I could have done? The pain that tears my heart apart feels so physical that I wish I could somehow wrench it out and subdue that terrible, terrible ache. The feeling of emptiness fills my very being and try as much, I just cannot seem to fill the void. How long do I have to go on living like this?