Loving both my children was always so easy for me because, for me they were what I always wanted. Losing Tanya physically has been the worst thing that could ever have happened to me. I know there are so many parents out there who, like me, have lost their children but, I will always feel my pain to be unique. My child was my life, my world revolved around her constantly. She was my soul mate, an answered prayer. It's a wonder I am still sane........WHY?